Singyi

It's been 14 days already. And now's midnight. And tmr's school day. Ya.. I must be crazy.Well, I dont know. I only know that I will turn nuts if I dont blog in tday.

I sinned, from my mouth, yet again. And I thought I was punished. Well, at least it keeps me moody even to home.

I'm stress yet, after Mr Koh's one sentence," you look just like last year". I certainly dont wish history to repeat itself. Why do only bad things repeat but not good things? Good history? Why must they be kept only in the deepest part of our memories? Dont tell me, so that we will treasure it. No, that's not treasuring, that's torturing. I remember reading an book,

the memories are like something so close yet so far, it seems to be only yesterday but auctally it's not. You seems to be inside it, but auctally you have already left it. The heart aches painfully and the tears are just waititng to run down.

It seems only yesterday my dad bring us to Pasir Ris to play the seaside. And ya, he;s just there, pushing me , who is sitting on an slide to one end to another and my mum and sis taking picture of us. But then, that's auctally 11 years ago at least.

Aye, it seems only yesterday, my cousin and I were racing one another by the road down our's aunt's house. Aye, it seems only yesterday, I ring him up and told him not to friend my sister, and change my mind over and over again. 656555123. this phone number, the first number I remember. haha. My super memory. Ae, it seems only yesterday, my cousins and my sister together with me hiking Bukit Batok Hill again with my aunt and complaining about the darned mosquitoes over there and muttering, never to get up here again. haha. Ya, it seems only yesterday my cousin teached me cycling. But then, when's the yesterday? it's 12 years ago. Even before we started school. Before we started to go down the long journey that awaits us.

And there. In my deepest memories and regret, is my sister. I dont remember a day treating her well. Oh well- If there's a cystal pearl by my side awaiting me to look at it and tell it about my childhood. Perhaps the first one to appear will be her. Yesterday, I just hit her, without an reason, without an warning.

Yesterday. my friend refused to lend me her pencil. I was angry. I got home and vent my anger on her. She came to me to borrow something. I refused. I snapped at her. She went to mum. She went to her, asking her what she should do so that I wun be so angry. My mum told her what she should do, and I saw it, but I refused to lend her. I was happy for that few days. She keep lending me her items but I refused to lend her. I'm selfish. And after 3 days, she refused to lend me anymore. I panic and tried to break the ice. But no, the ice is too thick. Yesterday. That yesterday.

It's again yesterday. When my younger cousin bully her by calling her names. I sit at a side. Wanting to help my sister but I didnt. Okie, I have an little human side, so I pity her but did not help her.

All that yesterday has an history of 10 years. The past has pass, but the regret are yet in my mind, repeating and repeating, neverending.

Okie, and Ernest hit the right spot on jan, that leaves me with tears that keep on flowng flowing flowing. Oh man. And now, my eyes' swollen. Oh man. Memories can kill man.